First Years Taking Over Hogwarts Halls?!

Yes, you read that correctly. First years are flooding the castle lately, overpowering the other years altogether. Ever since Halloween passed and the monsters that came with it were defeated, we’ve gotten a new threat to handle. You must be thinking, ‘How can a bunch of innocent, unknowing first years be a possible danger to their fellow students?’ Well, here’s why:

Big coincidence that all these first years come to Hogwarts at the same time, right? Let me tell you, there is no such thing as coincidences in Hogwarts. Rumour has it that a certain seventh year is recruiting a bunch of Muggles to come to Hogwarts. Their plans are unclear and we don’t know what they’re up to, but we do have a suspect.

Isabella, a Hufflepuff student, put up a Hogwarts advertisement without permission of the school itself. Apparently this ad caught on, and all of a sudden first years started flooding the halls. We don’t know exactly what she advertised, but it didn’t catch on to the right kind of people. The first years have been causing loads of trouble, breaking things, exploring the halls after curfew, and casting on their fellow students. We took a few testimonies on the matter.

“I don’t get why the school isn’t stepping in. I’ve been eating slugs ever since a first year put a spell on me yesterday. Hogwarts has always been a second home for me and to have to deal with these first year brats on my final year doesn’t fit in my tight schedule!” says Albus, a Gryffindor student.

“I’m getting major déjà vu from the horde of monsters storming the castle at Halloween. I don’t know what this Isabella person is up to, but someone needs to expel her before she starts recruiting her own army of first years and takes over the castle,” says Cordi, a Ravenclaw student.

It’s nothing new that the castle isn’t safe once again, but man, having to disarm a bunch of wild first years is a different experience than a bunch of brainless zombies. We tried to contact Isabella for an interview and here’s the result:

Flower: We’ve heard that you’re the one behind the advertisement getting the attention of all those first years. What are you planning on doing now that you’ve practically set hell loose in the Hogwarts halls?

Isabella: HA… You think i’m trying to destroy this place, right? Well, think again. What’s fun in taking over a destroyed castle when you can have it when it’s still standing? Those first years can do whatever they please. I’m not giving them orders if that’s what you’re suggesting.

We contacted the ministry after the interview and they’re trying to take back control on what used to be a relatively peaceful Hogwarts. Unfortunately, they have been unable to stop the torrent of new students. Ava, a Ravenclaw fifth year, recently posted another advertisement that brought a whole new flood of first years streaming in the doors. It seems the line of new students waiting to get Sorted will never end.

Will the Ministry ever be able to get back control? Only time will tell. For now, we’re calling up on all the non-first years to stay in their dorms and only leave them for necessary activities like classes and meals. Stay safe, students!

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