Quibbling Quibbler: Professor Snow the New Umbridge?!

It has only been a day since the hiring of Professor Snowella Quibbler at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and she already has some major plans for the school. After being hired at Hogwarts, she has already started writing up strict new rules and regulations for the students. We are here today to give you a sneak peek on what she wants for rules at Hogwarts.

Educational Decree Number One

All student clubs and groups are hereby disbanded at Hogwarts School. There will be no more get-togethers or meeting up; there will be some strict social distancing going on. This includes: parties, groups of more than three, school clubs, organizations, and study groups.

Educational Decree Number Two

Sugary food and drinks are banned from Hogwarts grounds. There has been a strict new list of allowed food sent to the house elves. There will be vegetables and fruits given out for lunches. Anyone found with sweets, fizzy drinks, WWW snacks, or anything sugary at all will be strictly punished!

Educational Decree Number Three

All class activities and games are discontinued. Students will get their books and quills out, copy from pages from a suitable educational book in lessons, and then go back to their common rooms to study some more. There will be no wands needed, no magic needed, and no fun activities needed. To comply with these rules, I have written a formal letter to the Minister of Magic to fire Professor Erdal Jenner as he clearly will not be able to abide by this rule.

Educational Decree Number Four

Broomsticks found anywhere on Hogwarts grounds will be taken and burnt. There will be new scanners set up in every inch of the grounds detecting and alerting us to any broomsticks. Following this rule, Quidditch will be disbanded and discontinued. The sport is too dangerous for pupils at this school.

Educational Decree Number Five

Astronomy will now be your main subject. It is mandatory to take for O.W.Ls and N.E.W.Ts. You will spend more time studying this and attending classes than any others. It is important to watch the stars in the sky as they can give you magical knowledge.

These were only a few of the 150 educational decrees made by Professor Snow. Students are beginning to think that Snow may be related to Professor Umbridge (or inspired by her work here at Hogwarts before). Unfortunately, Felix Black isn’t able to do anything about these rules due to Professor Mayflower locking him in his office. More about that later, however.

It may come as a shock to some that Professor Snow would do such a thing, but for others it was quite clear. These educational decrees are expected to be hung up in the Great Hall within the next few weeks. Until then, get all your sugary snacks, club meetings, and fun out of the way.

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