Quibbling Quibbler: Is Stanley Shunpike a Dark Wizard!?

Stanley “Stan” Shunpike is a well-known wizard that worked for the Knight Bus. After his apparent retirement and disapearance in 2018, when the Ministry of Magic confirmed the existence of the Dark Lord’s daughter, Delphini, he was presumed dead. On the 14th of February 2020 however, he was sighted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. According to Snow Quibbler, a fifth year student, he was wandering around the girls’ bathroom on the second floor of the castle, which is also the deathplace of the late Myrtle Warren.

So, I was in the cubicle as you do, minding my own business when I heard a voice deeper than usual. At first I was like, no biggie, some girls have deeper voices, and that’s fine! But then I peeked out of the side of the door, just to double check that one of the ghosts hadn’t come in here by accident, and lo and behold it was Stan! Obviously I was terrified because he’s meant to be dead, and I honestly thought I was going mad. There wasn’t a teacher for at least another corridor, so I just stayed in the cubicle and hid until he left – I may have been late to lesson, but I sure as Nargles was not getting murdered by a ghost in the girls’ bathroom. I am not becoming Moaning Myrtle 2.0.

Snow Quibbler

So what exactly was Mr. Shunpike doing in there? The Ministry of Magic has said that they won’t look into this matter any further because they believe that he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

OR WAS HE!?

Evidence suggests that he was trying to enter the legendary Chamber of Secrets, the former home of the basilisk that was slain by Mr. Harry James Potter in 1993. For those who don’t know, a basilisk is a giant serpent that can kill you in a literal blink of an eye, due to the fact that its eyes will kill anyone who looks at them directly.

Why Mr. Shunpike was trying to enter the chamber remains unknown, but it is reasonable to assume that he is up to no good. He was already caught supporting the Dark Lord once. Why wouldn’t he do it a second time? We asked our beloved Designer Thistle about her opinion on this matter.

Good ol’ Stan, he can never be shot down. He’s too slippery of a fella. Sort of like… snakes!

Thistle Quibbler

It’s a very interesting coincidence that Ms. Quibbler would mention snakes in relation to Mr. Shunpike.

OR IS IT?!

Thistle Quibbler was found carrying a pouch full of basilisk eggs on the Knight Bus. When asked who sold her the eggs, she Disapparated immediately. Could it be that Stanley Shunpike, the innocent little boy from the Knight Bus, is illegally selling basilisk eggs in order to raise funds for the Welcome Back party of his Master?

Who knows? Perhaps it’s all just a huge coincidence! However, you can be assured that the Quibbler won’t stop looking into this matter until the dealer has been caught. Stay tuned for more exeptionally ordinary stories!

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