Harry Potter: Is the Chosen One’s Career in Crisis?

It’s common knowledge that Harry Potter, otherwise known as The Boy Who Lived, went on to become an esteemed Auror after his days at Hogwarts. However, only a few witches and wizards are in the know when it comes to the issues surrounding Potter’s employment!

The Auror was reported earlier this week to have stormed from his office in a rage, yelled incoherent obscenities at a statue, and Apparated away. While no one is quite sure what caused this outburst, the Quibbler was able to snag an interview with Potter himself regarding the incident.

“I quit. I quit. I can’t take it. Too boring. I quit,” Potter whispered for the nineteenth time before collapsing in a heap on one of the sofas at our headquarters. It was quite reminiscent of the last six times he “quit” his job in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. This time, however, we have a feeling Potter actually means it.

“There’s just so much more I want to do in life, you know?” he confided in one of our employees upon sitting up. “I mean, I was pretty much a stand-in Defense Against the Dark Arts professor in my fifth year. That was neat. I’m not sure why I didn’t apply for the actual job once I was out of Hogwarts.”

In truth, not even Potter himself is sure where he’ll take his career next. “I could work in a shop. Yeah! I could sell sweets from a shop!” said Potter, with a childish gleam in his eyes. “Or, or, or,” he continued, giddy with excitement at this point, “I could steal the ship Durmstrang uses to sail around and get to Triwizard Tournaments and stuff. Aw, man, being a pirate would be so awesome!”

Whatever path Potter chooses to go down next, we must admit we’re excited for him. And that we hope he picks being a pirate. Harry, if you’re reading this, we know a guy who can help you steal the ship! There’s always the chance that he’ll decide to remain working as an Auror at the Ministry, but who knows? Stay tuned for more new reports on Potter’s career!

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