July Horoscopes!

Aries: You, my talented friend, are going far this month! Follow your ambition, but don’t let anybody force you to do it their way. Let out your dragon side and go after what you want. If you hurt some feelings along the way, don’t worry about it. After all, you’d rather apologize after you accomplish your task than follow the rules other people try to set for you.

Taurus: You’ll have a tendency to be a bit of a mooncalf this month. Fight your impulse to be shy and instead tell people like it is! While you may feel reclusive, you’re going to be right about pretty much everything this month, so go out there and prove it. It’ll be like an emotional version of the Triwizard Tournament!

Gemini: This month it will be somewhat difficult for you to communicate clearly with those around you. Don’t worry; the Nargles haven’t infected you, they’ve just infected everyone else around you. Work as hard as a Hufflepuff and you’ll succeed in your goals. You may even find yourself solving some of the wizarding world’s problems. Keep it up! You could be the next Minister for Magic at this rate!

Cancer: As much as you’d like it to be, this month won’t be spent much at home. Prepare your inner Gryffindor to go out and be an extrovert. Things are going to be tough in general this month, whether it be because your boss has been infested by Nargles and rejects your hard work or whether it be on a more personal level. But remember that failure isn’t an option, pull out your inner Slytherin, and push through! You’ve got this!

Leo: Go a bit wild this month! Ever heard of opposite day? Try opposite month! Take a crazy vacation, spend Galleons you don’t have, go exploring in the unknown wild! Your imagination is the only limit, so let those Cornish Pixies roam free and have fun!


Virgo: You’ve got a case of Scops owls in your pants for sure! You won’t be able to sit still this month, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Use all that excess energy to go out and try something new. Investigate new interests, meet new people, make new friends! You won’t be sorry! Beware certain people in your life, though. As kind as you try to be, someone is going to try and twist what you say into something bad. Just remember Constant Vigilance! and you’ll be fine.

Libra: It seems July is to be a great month for everyone energy-wise, but especially you, Libras. Perhaps the Leprechauns have broken free of Ireland and are spreading their joyous vigor across the globe. This great attitude and high energy will definitely come in handy for you when you receive a bit of bad news this month. In the meantime, go out and have some fun. It’ll help to cushion the blow that is sure to come.

Scorpio: This month is a bit tricky for you, as you seem to have been infested with Gulping Plimpies. But if you remember to wear your Gurdyroots, you should be fine and maintain a calm disposition. Remember that being a perfectionist isn’t a bad thing; it’s going to take you far, that much is certain. Still, keep things mysterious. Just because you like perfection doesn’t mean you should be predictable.

Sagittarius: Unlike your usual self, this month is meant for introspection. It’s okay to want to be alone, especially as it seems to lead toward you writing and creating some excellent art! Share your talent with the world when you are ready. Have you been collecting horseshoes and four-leaf clovers? It certainly seems so, for your luck is high this month. Use it to achieve your goals, and you’ll find great satisfaction.

Capricorn: This month is a great time to put away all of your fancy tricks and just be all natural. Sometimes going back to basics is best. Getting in touch with your inner unicorn isn’t a bad thing. In fact, doing so is certain to provide you with an epiphany at some point that will lead you in the right direction for your future. Go with it! Who knows what you’ll achieve.

Aquarius: Like Cancer, this month will be a trying one for you. Don’t give up just because it seems like Doxies have invaded your life. You have a soft streak a kilometer wide, and using that compassion will be a great counterpart to this month’s struggles. Share your loving and tender side with everyone you encounter. This month is a gateway to the next chapter of your life, whatever that may be. The choice is yours!

Pisces: It’s time for you to take the reigns and steer the Abraxan horses where you want to go. Don’t let anyone else tell you how to run the show. You’ve never been one to sit on the sidelines and watch as others make your decisions, so don’t start now. Just make sure not to let conceit taint your good image. Do something charitable to balance your karma. You just might meet someone special along the way.

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